I know. Cliche, but its true. At least for the majority of the human race. Currently for me it’s a common denominator for a lot of aspiring writers; the crippling self doubt that prompts the thoughts “Is this any good?” “Why would anybody read this?” “Why do I even try?” Well, sometimes it feels like our aspirations are impossible, but we keep at it anyway because it is a dream we’ve had for a long time. You hear stories of how the big name authors struggled to get where they are and you think of course you can do what they did so you start your work and a week goes by and the self-doubt creeps back in. I think a lot of people give up on their dreams because they feel overwhelmed and believe they will never truly succeed. I feel this way at times also.

So I’m hoping I can look back at this post ten years from now and think about how far I’ve come (I plan to have at least 3 books published by then). We will see. The good news is I’m forcing myself to start my book simply because I’m working on it as my thesis for my graduate program. I think the average author spends about two years writing a book. I’m hoping to have my first one completed in 9 months (much like a baby since I can’t physically have one). Of course then I’ll have to search for an agent and hope that I find one and then it’ll have to be sent off and prove itself worthy to a publisher and if that happens then it has to go through the publishing stages and finally it will be out to the public and then they have to notice and enough to pick it up and decide to hopefully read it and hopefully love it and tell their friends and word spreads and it sells a lot and I can have my hopes validated and I can work comfortably on the second book. A big dream I know. All sounds good in theory, but every step is going to seem insurmountable.

Of course, I have to start at the beginning. Write the book. Luckily, I’m already past the blank page. I hope to have it published by the end of 2018, but I’ll settle for early 2019. It’ll be my debut after all.

Here are the first few lines: “She thought the bullets and the bombs had prepared her for anything, but nothing could have prepared her for Ephraim. It was a Wednesday when they met. At least, it was a Wednesday for Bronwyn. A dream had woken her for what would be the third time that week and as there was no hope of returning to sleep she sat up and prepared to begin her day.”

There we are. The first few lines so far (of course subject to change). What do you think?